Following last week's "devastating" murder of 27-year-old Jennifer Martel in Waltham, the leader of a local domestic violence organization says it's important to have a conversation about how the tragedy could have been prevented.
"We want to figure out what we could have done differently here," said Laura Van Zandt, executive director of Waltham-based REACH Beyond Domestic Violence. "Let's not have this be for nothing."
Often, there are warning signs. Some are blatant.
Jared Remy, who was arrested Thursday night after the homicide and charged with murder, was possessive and had isolated Martel from her family, Martel's relatives said Friday. Remy was also arrested last Tuesday night, two days before the killing, for allegedly assaulting Martel – and police say he was upset that she was spending too much time at a neighbor's place.
"It's about power and control," Van Zandt said. "Domestic violence, dating violence is about power and control."
"Abusers are manipulative," and it's important for them to say they don't want their partner to do something, Van Zandt said.
In young relationships, things can move fast. Van Zandt advises watching out for patterns.
"Relationships should be about respect and balance," Van Zandt said. "Extreme jealousy is a huge warning sign."
Once a relationship reaches the point of violence, Van Zandt encourages victims to talk to someone – whether it be a professional, a clergy person, a family member or even a personal care physician – just someone who cares. Victims can also walk into a domestic violence organization like REACH (Refuge, Education, Advocacy, Change).
To Van Zandt's knowledge, Martel did not try to contact her organization.
"As a friend, it's important to hear what someone is saying," and ask what the victim wants to see happen, Van Zandt said.
If an arrest is made, it's rare for someone to be held in an assault and battery case, Van Zandt noted. Remy was released without bail last Wednesday when he was arraigned on the assault and battery charge.
"The bail recommendation on Wednesday was made based on the totality of the circumstances, the singular count in that case, as well as conversations with investigating officers and Ms. Martel," Middlesex District Attorney Marian Ryan said Friday.
While some have asked why Remy wasn't held given his history, which included more than a dozen criminal complaints in Waltham District Court since 1998, Van Zandt stressed that there's a high standard of proof that must be met to hold someone in jail because he is considered dangerous.
"Could that have happened in this case? Possibly," Van Zandt said. "My guess is they didn't have all that information (about Remy's history).
"Do I wish that he had been held? Of course."
But an abuser can't be held forever, Van Zandt cautioned.
"There's a price to pay for taking that step," so a support network is key, Van Zandt said. "The hard part is, they do get out."
There's also a price for getting a restraining order, which Van Zandt says can often escalate violence.
"The important thing to remember about a restraining order is it's a piece of paper," Van Zandt said, and it's better if there are plans around it.
Martel, who had a 4-year-old daughter with Remy, had taken out an emergency restraining order last Tuesday night after his assault and battery arrest. However, she elected not to extend it and did not come to court on Wednesday morning, prosecutor Lisa McGovern said at Remy's murder arraignment Friday.
Remy's family convinced Martel not to extend the restraining order against Remy, Martel's relatives said Friday.
"That was not done, and it ultimately led to her death," Richard Martel, Jennifer's uncle, said Friday outside his Fall River home. "It's just unbelievable. … I always used to say she was going to end up dead. ... He was always hitting her."
Van Zandt said it's also important to remember that with a restraining order like the one Martel got Tuesday night, the victim has to go back the next morning to face the abuser and extend it. The victim may also not have a lawyer.
Van Zandt points to a program created by former Middlesex District Attorney Gerry Leone, in which attorneys at large firms receive training around restraining order law and are available pro bono for victims identified by victim witness advocates or by other means.
"That helped level the playing field," Van Zandt said.
"People do not go back for a 10-day hearing (to extend the restraining order) because they are scared," or they don't have an attorney and the abuser does, Van Zandt added. "The power imbalance is a big part of this."
It's vital to think about what's going to happen when an abuser gets out of jail. Van Zandt says there are a lot of good batterers' intervention programs, but the courts have not recommended them enough.
"If completed, it can actually make a difference," said Van Zandt, noting that the programs can take up to about 40 weeks.
But there can be a cost issue – sometimes the abuser has to pay for it.
And some judges don't believe in that type of program, while "some judges just don't take domestic violence seriously," Van Zandt said.
"We need to start recognizing this for what it is – it's abuse, it's domestic violence," and try to remedy it as such, she said.
Van Zandt hopes the next step is the conversation.
"It's devastating. It's devastating for the community," Van Zandt said. "If we work together with our whole hearts … we will prevent this from happening."
Van Zandt points to work her organization is doing in Waltham, such as the recent "Say Hi To Your Neighbors Week" that included several events designed to get residents interacting with each other.
"We truly believe a closer community contributes to a safer and healthier community."
To contact REACH Beyond Domestic Violence, call 781-891-0724 or the hotline at 800-899-4000. For more information, visit reachma.org.
A memorial fund has been set up for Martel for both funeral expenses and to take care of her daughter. Donations can be sent to: Jennifer Martel Memorial Fund, c/o Citizens Bank, 501 Rodman Street, Fall River, MA 02721.
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