Many of us are so proud of our Canadian commitment to multiculturalism, our ability to live in peace and mutual respect with people of other backgrounds. But perhaps we haven't got it quite right.
"Honour killings" — in which men murder their female relatives in order to cleanse the family name and reputation — are on the rise in Canada, expert Aruna Papp told an audience in Kitchener on Wednesday. These killings, often assisted by older women in the family, are most predominant among some immigrant groups originating from India, Pakistan, Bangladesh, parts of Africa and parts of Russia, she said.
A South Asian woman in Canada who is unlucky enough to be immersed in a "culture of honour-based violence," can be killed for going on a date, wearing Western clothes, being raped, or refusing to submit to an arranged marriage.
The murders are just the tip of the iceberg. Under the surface of those deaths lie thousands of violent acts. Papp, who was born in India and survived forced marriage and domestic violence, said women have been imprisoned in basements, beaten, tortured with boiling liquid and turned into sexual slaves.
She told a story about a young woman who had a pot of hot tea poured onto her back because she didn't want to go to the old country and be forced into marriage. And how teenage girls who change into Western clothes once they arrive at high school, so that they'll blend in, sometimes face a terrible form of blackmail. Boys take pictures of the girl at school in her jeans and T-shirt with their cellphones. Unless she has sex with them, they threaten, they'll send the photos to her father.
In order to understand and combat this violence, we have to understand its roots — even if it makes people feel uncomfortable to say unpleasant things about another culture.
"It's time for all of us to stop being afraid of being called racist," Papp told an audience of about 80 police officers, social workers and others. The event was organized by the Family Violence Project at Mosaic Counselling and Family Services in Kitchener.
Papp, a researcher, author, and founder of several centres to help immigrant women, makes brave statements that many of us would rather avoid.
The idea that all cultures are equal, and should each be treated with equal respect, leads us to a very dangerous place, she says.
"When I came to Canada, my Canada said: Women have to be submissive. Women have to be self-sacrificing. You stay in your ghetto."
Multiculturalism is not just about performing ethnic dances and eating samosas. "It's a very powerful tool to keep women in their place."
Not all South Asian women are abused, of course. But Papp said some women of South Asian descent face unique threats, because their culture holds that honour belongs to a group, and is associated with female chastity and obedience. If a wife leaves her husband or a daughter wears too much makeup, the whole family is scorned. This is in contrast to the Western idea of honour as something that an individual earns through courage, hard work or goodness.
Young men can sometimes be victimized as well, especially if they are gay. But at the root of the problem is the low status of women. They're not even safe in the womb. In South Asian cultures, Papp said, there are now 936 girls being born to every 1,000 boys, as some parents opt to abort female fetuses.
Large numbers of immigrants came to Canada from South Asia during the 1980s and '90s, and their children are growing into young men and women. Because of this population boom, the number of honour crimes is rising. "The avalanche is coming," she says.
When I got back to The Record's newsroom later that day, I re-read the chapter entitled "Rights and Responsibilities of Citizenship" in the federal government's guide for new immigrants. It says, in part:
"In Canada, men and women are equal under the law. Canada's openness and generosity do not extend to barbaric cultural practices that tolerate spousal abuse, 'honour killings,' female genital mutilation, forced marriage or other gender-based violence. Those guilty of these crimes are severely punished under Canada's criminal laws."
In the past, I've always felt a little bit uneasy when reading this passage. But after listening to Papp, it sounded just right. It sounded like the beginning of what we need to do.
To learn more about Papp's work, visit her website at www.preventhonorbasedviolence.com
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