As the news stories continue about the murder-suicide involving Kansas City football player Jovan Belcher, three things trouble me. First, the name Belcher comes up over and over in articles, but Kasandra Perkins' life and background is rarely mentioned. Second, NFL experts and others are trying to focus on head trauma as a likely cause, instead of the actions of an abusive man that form the true foundation of this tragedy. Third, this one murder-suicide is getting tremendous coverage when the many other women, men and children dying each day from domestic violence do not receive any media attention.
Jovan Belcher's history as a Chiefs linebacker, his college football career and his family are all discussed with many column inches of text. Missing from most stories is the story of Kasandra Perkins, the 22-year-old mother who Belcher killed. Kasandra was not on television every week and she was not famous.
Kasandra grew up in Austin, Texas, and graduated from Anderson High School. We don't know much else yet about her childhood but her cousin Whitney Charles convinced Kasandra to visit Kansas City after high school where she met Belcher in 2009 at a Christmas dinner for the Chiefs' players and families. They started dating and two months later Jovan convinced Kasandra to move to Kansas City. Kasandra loved living in Kansas City, Mexican food, pool parties, bonfires and hanging out with her girlfriends. Kasandra was young and full of life and she loved being a mother.
She deserves to be remembered for her life and honored and esteemed in death. She deserves far more attention and far more honor and column inches than Jovan Belcher. She was the victim of a heinous crime by a man who claimed to love her and then shot her repeatedly. She, not Jovan Belcher, deserves our honor, our sympathy, and our respect.
We must reject efforts to make this murder about head trauma or gun control. NBC sports commentator Bob Costas recently pushed the gun control angle on the air, later saying it was a mistake, and many have pushed the NFL head trauma angle. But the truth is very clear. It was a clear case of domestic violence homicide and it was done by a man with a history of domestic violence. Indeed, the first news report has already surfaced from the University of Maine where Belcher put his fist through a window in a dispute with a woman – no charges were filed. And a second incident has surfaced during Belcher's time at the University of Maine where Belcher and his girlfriend were arguing because she had not called him at the time she had promised. His rage led to a police response, but no charges were filed. I have little doubt more will surface about the history of Jovan Belcher.
Relationships do not go from healthy, happy and functional to murder-suicide overnight. It never happens. There is almost always a history and there is always a pattern. Over time, it will be clear that friends, family and colleagues knew things and saw things and did not take action.
Belcher's murderous acts and the stories about the tragedy ignore the reality that occurs every day across this country. Kasandra was not the only woman to die in recent months in the United States. There have been hundreds killed since August.
In the last week, more than 20 women were murdered in the U.S. in domestic violence homicides. In the holiday season now upon us, more will die.
Today we know, more than ever based on tremendous work being done by domestic violence professionals across the United States in shelters, Family Justice Centers, law enforcement agencies, and community-based sexual assault and domestic violence agencies, that domestic violence homicides are predictable and preventable. It is only a question of resources and priorities. When communities make family violence prevention a major focus, when agencies work together collaboratively to help victims and their children and when enough money is dedicated to early intervention and prevention, fewer women, men and children die.
Obfuscating, ignoring and refusing to acknowledge the truth will not help. We need far more and we must demand far more from the media, our legislators and the community. Kasandra Perkins' life deserves to be honored by what we do now with all that we know.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-SAFE (7232).
No hay comentarios:
Publicar un comentario