After more than a decade as friendly neighbours, two Scarborough families have become locked in a bitter feud that blew up last week in an offensive lawn sign and visits from police.
The cordial relationship between John Corcoran, 81, and Vicky Downing, 47, began to unravel over a year ago when he supported her ex-boyfriend during a messy breakup.
Both neighbours say they have called the city and police several times to report alleged wrongdoing but the bad behaviour persists.
Over the past year, the allegations began: plant stealing and other mischief. She says he had her cat euthanized. He says the cat lived with him and had lost control of its hindquarters, and couldn't walk or control its bladder.
It's been a nightmare. Vicky Downing.
Neither was sure how to dial down the over-the-fence tension until police suggested last week they try formal mediation. They agreed, in theory, but have yet to start.
"It's been a nightmare," Downing said. "Especially when there's no help."
Her neighbour for about 14 years is equally frustrated. "I don't need this aggravation. I'm nearly 82 years old," said Corcoran, who has lived in his home near St. Clair Ave. E. and Victoria Park Ave. since 1972.
Small taunts grew larger.
The city's Municipal Licensing and Standards database shows a complaint was filed against Downing's property on July 31 for property standards, or what she says was furniture left on the curb. Less than a month later, a complaint was filed about overgrown bushes in the Corcorans' yard.
Last week, Downing scrawled obscene phrases in her windows so they would be visible from the Corcorans' kitchen. She has video of Corcoran shouting names at her from the driveway.
They accuse each other of spying.
Neither neighbour believes the problem has received enough attention from city officials. Both feel shut out and alone. Each feels they are the victim.
The city advises residents to speak with their neighbours when a dispute arises, said Tammy Robbinson, spokeswoman for Municipal Licensing and Standards.
If the issue continues, residents can call 311 to register a complaint. An inspector will investigate and, if violations are found, the property gets a notice saying the issue must be fixed by a certain date or the city will do so and then bill the homeowner.
Inspectors who investigate complaints often act as mediators in disputes, Robbinson said.
Police also try to resolve interpersonal issues when they can, said Const. Sarah Diamond.
Most officers wouldn't call the work mediation, but all calls require some diplomacy, she said. "At the end of the day, we're trying to avoid getting called out again for something similar. And we're trying to improve the quality of life."
Corcoran and Downing say they have phoned police several times in the last year, including last week after Downing planted a rude sign on her front lawn. On Thursday, some of the words were camouflaged by Halloween decorations.
Downing said she was feeling fed up and "hopeless" about the feud when she decided to erect the sign with three arrows in her yard. "The Fockers" one said, the 'O' not entirely closed. "Nosey Twats" said another. Both arrows pointed to Corcoran's property. A third arrow, pointing to her place, read "5 Star Neighbours."
"This is total harassment," Corcoran said of the sign.
He called police, who spoke with both neighbours extensively and eventually referred them to a mediator.
Police regularly refer people with disputes to community organizations.
St. Stephen's Community House receives hundreds of referrals for mediation every year from police, bylaw officers and the courts, said Peter Bruer, its manager of conflict resolution and training.
The free service is run by volunteers and helps individuals sort out their conflicts.
"We're not going to make a judgment about whether people have or haven't broken the rules, or if they should or shouldn't have done the things they did," Bruer said. "That's not for us to do."
Instead, the mediators break issues down into manageable pieces and make people have a dialogue.
"What we're really doing in community relations is mending relationships. We're putting back the capacity that people have to talk to each other," Bruer said.
"It's surprising how many of these things boil down to, 'All I really want is an apology. All I really want is for the other guy to say I hear you.' "
Downing took down the offending sign Thursday afternoon after the police visit. She's also agreed to talk things over with Corcoran and a mediator.
"Just anything for peace," she said, folding her hands as if in prayer, her makeup smeared from tears.
For Corcoran, the situation is far from settled but he, too, is willing to talk with a mediator.
"As long as she doesn't bother me any more," he said. "That's all I want."
-- Torstar News Services
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